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SPLIT
CRAZY EDDY WANTS TO TELL YOU A SECRET. EXTREME DUMPSTER DIVING IS THE NEXT BIG THING!!!!! NEED A NEW LAPTOP? THE DUMPSTER BEHIND THE WATER RECLAMATION PLANT IS A GOLD MINE. GRAB A CELL PHONE TOO! JUST REMEMBER TO PUT ON YOUR WRAP G SUNNIES FIRST. THEY WON'T FOG UP ON THE STEAMIEST OF HEADS OR IN THE FOULEST OF STENCHES.
SPLIT
WE USE A SPECIAL GRIP COATING AND TEMPLE GRIPS TO CONSTRUCT OUR FRAME TO HELP ELIMINATE SLIPPAGE WHEN YOUR LAVA-INDUCED SWEAT POPS WHILE VOLCANO SURFING.
OUR FRAME IS FITTED AND LIGHTWEIGHT, WITH A REMOVABLE NOSE-PIECE AND TWO SIZING OPTIONS TO PREVENT BOUNCING WHEN YOU LAND ON YOUR MOTORCYCLE SEAT AFTER DIVING OUT OF A HELICOPTER.
EXTREMELY EFFECTIVE ANTI-FOG COATING PREVENTS THE INSIDE OF THIS EXTREME WRAPAROUND LENS FROM FOGGING EVEN WITH THE EXTREMEST SWEAT.
GLARE-REDUCING, POLARIZED LENSES AND UV400 PROTECTION THAT BLOCKS THOSE HARMFUL UVA AND UVB RAYS.
YOU MIGHT BE AN EXTREME ATHLETE, YOU MIGHT BE A PRETTY AVERAGE ATHLETE WHO IS EXTREMELY DELUSIONAL. BOTH EXTREMELY EXTREME EXTREMISTS YEAHHHHHAHARGHHHHHWOOOOOHOOOOOOO
BASKETBALL? BORING!!!
SOCCER? STUPID!!!
HOCKEY? HORRIBLE!!!
TENNIS? TEDIOUS!!!
CRICKET? CRAPFEST!!!
WE'RE HARDCORE, BABAYYYYY!!!!
THERE'S ONLY ONE SPORT WE F*CKING CARE ABOUT!!!!!
WOOOOOO!!!!
EXTREME DUMPSTER DRIVING
SPLIT
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